I'm thinking of starting a blog...: Speak Up {Writing Prompt}

This is not an easy topic for me.

There are so many things I would LOVE to speak up about but feel like I can't at the moment.

I would love to speak up about what it is really like to live with someone with a brain injury.

I would love to speak up about how stressful it is to bear the weight of responsibility for EVERYONE and EVERYTHING in our family.

I would love to speak up about the many (half crazy) ideas I have brewing in my head for how I am going to manage in the long term.

But.

Is it fair on Murray for me to talk about him on the blog? ?Even if he consents (which he does) - is he really understanding what he is consenting to? ?In a few days he will have forgotten that he consented....is that really consenting?

Even though there is a part of me that wants people to know how stressful it is to be the sole carer for my family - there is also a part of me that doesn't want to speak up about that. ?I like to just get on with the job rather than talk about how I feel about it. ?What I do want though is for people to 'get' what is really going on. ?To get that I am effectively a single parent. ?To get that I am Murray's carer rather than his wife. ?To get that my life is not like theirs - the same rules don't (and can't) apply. To get that this is a BIG deal.

I would love to tell you about the long term plans I have brewing but I worry that people will judge me. ?Murray does not function as a husband, father or even really as an adult in our house - yes we are married - but this is not a marriage marriage. ?So what am I to do?

What would you do?

I can almost feel all the Christians reading this getting ready to reach for the comment button to tell me that I can't leave. ?Don't panic. ?I'm not leaving.

But please know that those of us who are in marriages where we are carers for our spouses - rather than partners with them - are not in 'typical' marriages like other people. ?We are essentially on our own. ?It is hard work. ?By choosing to stay with our husbands and honour our marriage vows we are choosing a life of loneliness and frustration. ?The marriage vows say until death us do part - that is a LONG time - day in and day out - to be alone but have no one actually realise that you are on your own.

I think I probably should stop speaking up now.

Maybe it's better to keep quiet?

{Ellen Stumbo Writing Prompt}

Source: http://thinkingofstartingablog.blogspot.com/2013/01/speak-up-writing-prompt.html

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